Birth Trauma
“Before my discharge from the hospital I had at least three different providers warn me that I'm at a greater risk for postpartum mood disorders because of my traumatic birth experience. It's odd to hear someone else label your birth as traumatic, especially before you realize it for yourself. Where do they think the trauma comes from? The loss of my home birth plan? The prolonged, high intervention induction? The unplanned c-section? The complicated repair with significant blood loss? While not the outcomes I'd wanted, I can make peace with those events because I had the opportunity to make the informed choices that brought me there. Surely they didn't recognize that the greatest source of trauma were the moments where I was stripped of my autonomy, otherwise they should have seized the opportunity to prevent it.“
Read MoreI see you, mama. The midwives lied to me, too.
“Mama, I see you. In a world that glorifies midwives, you helped me feel less alone in my sorrow. You made my pain bearable. You gave me strength. However far you got in your journey, you had an impact. Like tiny drops of water that slowly eroding a rock, as more of use speak out others will have the informed consent and knowledge that we did not have. I am eternally grateful to all of you. Because the midwives lied to me, too, and I feel better now that I can see you.”
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Read MoreAn Immigrant at Côte-Nord - Sept-Îles Hospital, Québec
“As you can imagine the problem is not paying the bill, beside the fact I feel is not fair, but was the whole humiliation during my whole pregnancy, was the way all the professionals made me feel ashamed and guilty for being there. It was losing a child and not being able to grieve properly. Is the trauma of going back to hospital for my child’s care and feeling anxious and depressed to be there. It’s not trusting the health care of this city and not being able to conceive to stay here because I can’t have another traumatic pregnancy.”
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Submitted by Cielo Almendras
Cielo's Story - Markham Stouffville Hospital, Ontario
“At first, it was difficult to define what happened to me because I didn’t know how I was allowed to feel. I was supposed to trust that my healthcare providers knew best, but I don’t feel like I benefited from their decisions. I know, now, that what I experienced was rape. My right to body autonomy was violated. My right to consent to what happens to me was violated. Of course I’m grateful that I’m okay and my baby is healthy, but I’m still a person. Outside of a pregnant woman’s hospital room, the things that happened to me would qualify as assault.”
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Read MoreG's Story - Grey Nuns Community Hospital, Edmonton, Alberta
“Everybody in the medical community acts like a c-section is no big deal and is this easy breezy thing. For me, not a single day has gone by that I am not in pain. At my incision site, it feels like a knife point is pressing in. On days I exercise, the knife digs deeper. Other days it lets up but is never less than a 4 out of 10. There are certain types of pants I can't wear anymore. I get debilitating back pain that wraps around directly to my scar. My hips tighten with shooting pain directly to my scar. During my period, the pain is unbearable. Before I was pregnant, I was running 10-15 km. I still ran 5km until I was 20 weeks pregnant. Now, I can't run 1km without the knife blade digging in. I run anyway but it's definitely more challenging pushing myself through the pain. I've gone to physio and done the exercises, stretches, dry needling, scar tissue massage and nothing has been able to offer any kind of relief so I carry on and just deal with it. I would like to have another child but the thought is terrifying. What if they don't believe me again and I get to feel the doctor slicing and pulling? If I do have another, I will try to get a midwife although the waiting lists are long. If I'm to be stuck with a doctor again, I've decided against all interventions. No cervical checks, membrane sweep, induction, labour augmentation or epidural.”
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Read MoreT's Story - Peace Arch Hospital, White Rock, British Columbia
"I cannot rationalize the way I was treated, and as a health care provider myself it just erodes me to know this goes on day in and day out.
I had a sexual abuse history, but I find it absolutely absurd that you have to share that with people, just to get treated with more empathetic care in Obstetrics. All women should be assumed to have a trauma history given the statistics. And all women should be treated with empathy and compassion regardless of their abuse history. Also sorry, not sorry, not going to share that with someone just because you’re a health care provider, it's called building a therapeutic relationship. If you are asking me whether I've been sexually abused as a checklist, just like when my last menstrual period was, you probably aren't going to get an honest answer. I have been through significant gynaecological issues prior to childbirth and never felt traumatized by any procedure, despite my abuse history.”
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Submitted by LM