2021 - Kawartha Community Midwives
I wrote the other post with the same title. I still can't talk about my story.
I spent an embarrassing amount of money on therapy. I am so privileged to have been able to do so. I don't remember the nightmares now, so that's something. But my body still wakes up back there. After that I can't relax, can't sleep, can't calm down. The flash backs have minimized. Mostly I can force the thoughts out. But my body can't evade the feelings. My temper is much shorter. My heart is still broken.
I trusted the midwives. It's always been so hard for me to trust.
I told them "the only thing I want is to ok what happens. I trust you and if you say we need something I'll know it's true." They went out of their way to make sure this was not met. This has been damaging to all my relationships.
I was treated poorly for my appearance, weight, occupation, and trauma history.
My family was treated poorly for family structure, cultural diffrences, race.
I complained. That I was yelled at and intimidated. That there was non consensual care. That I didn't get to chose my birth location because they refused to come. That I was forced a dangerous epidural (dangerous in my case not everyones) so they could transfer care to a dr. And other things.
I spoke to my care provider, she said 'I’m sorry you feel that way'. I attempted to complain directly to their practice. This went ignored.
Mediation was horrible. I was not listened to. They had their lawyer respond to everything. They offered to apologize. I said that I found apologies offensive. But that was all they were willing to do. Here's the apology (edited our names, but the rest is just as it was written.)
Ms. M understands from MY complaint that MY experience during MY labour did not match her(MY) expectations. Ms. M is sorry that this was MY experience during her(MY) course of care.
Ummmmm. I said apologies are offensive so double down on that by doing this?
We need to band together to fix this. I've written the women's minister, the health minister, the hospital. Only the hospital’s patient advocate responded, she had me in to talk about it and said she'd look into it. Then my follow up emails went unanswered.
If you complian expect them to misunderstand absolutely every statement you make. to be willing to do absolutely nothing. To say that your the problem and this is how mediation normally is. To pretend to be on your side. That if you act out of line even once after the extreme frustration That's now who you are to them.
One of my complaints I asked to be pushed through to the panel. So in 150 days I'll have an awnser to that. I have proof, that's why I asked to go forward. I was warned that it will likely result in nothing.
Mediation was extremely retraumatizing. I recommend it we need to do it for each other. I do not recommend it it was horrifying.
I just want consent to be a thing in healthcare. Or care based on evidence. Or care that you know this person cannot recieve, is telling you no, that that damaging care not occur. It wish it were not their choice to have you try again and cause crisis. By intimidating you.
Also I wish they'd stop deleting the reviews I leave on their practice pages. I mean I'm blocked now. But we should be allowed to put negative reviews.
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