2018 - Was my second pregnancy. I had a unplanned C-section my first time, which was a decision I was okay with having made. This time during my care I was never informed a VBAC was treated differently (more restrictions). When arriving at hospital I was not in active labour but was admitted anyway. This beginning being constantly pressured to take pain medication, bullied into an epidural based on the fact that my OB prefers it for VBACs. I did not want one after it not working on first pregnancy, funnily caved in having one simply to shut up the nurses because I was tired of being asked to get one every 30mins. My request for intermittent monitoring was laughed at and denied.
My biggest thing was I wanted to be able to move and it was taken away pretty quickly. Nurses kept telling me I should prepare for a C-section again even when nothing was implying I was going to need one. I made it to complete dilation and was asked to push, I wanted to be on my side or squatting and was denied that, I was made to lay flat on my back pushed once with no direction or idea of what to do and a call was made that I was having a C-section. I completely broke down crying out of fear and was not given a second opinion or explanation as to why this was happening. My crying was dismissed. I was told to “calm down”. Went into surgery and all went well but I was traumatized. I was told immediately after that “at least you’re both healthy”.
I was traumatized. After birth I was ignored a lot. My catheter was left in for too long because they “forgot”. Nothing was done to help my mental state. I was dismissed of my feelings and told by nurses that I should have expected this to happen. I asked to leave hospital 1 day early to get away from everyone. I had flash backs and nightmares of my labour/surgery for over a year afterwards. Resentment & anger towards the hospital staff and OBGYN. Anger at my husband and older children as well for needing more of me than I could offer. And felt a large amount of anxiety over being away from my baby because we had been through something together and were the only ones who understood the pain.
Midwives/homebirth are not licensed in my province and was not at option. I should have had a doula but could not find one available for my birth.
I did write a letter to my OBGYN about my experience and his short comings in my care but never sent it. It did help me to release those feelings, though.
I believe it is important as pregnant women to educate ourselves on our rights. That we can say no and drs/nurses have to listen to that as they need our consent. What they say is not law, we are the ones that are in control of the birth and we can’t let medical staff take that power. Advocate for yourself, and if you’re unable/uncomfortable to do so arm your partner with information so they can advocate on your behalf and hire a Doula.
Submitted by AM
